"Nonetheless, character—the willingness to accept responsibility for one's own life—is the source from which self-respect springs......Again, it is a question of recognizing that anything worth having has its price. People who respect themselves are willing to accept the risk that the Indians will be hostile, that the venture will go bankrupt, that the liaison may … Continue reading Joan Didion on Self-Respect
Category: lessons
How to Think For Yourself
"It matters a lot who you surround yourself with. If you're surrounded by conventional-minded people, it will constrain which ideas you can express, and that in turn will constrain which ideas you have. But if you surround yourself with independent-minded people, you'll have the opposite experience: hearing other people say surprising things will encourage you … Continue reading How to Think For Yourself
How Many Summers Are Left?
"I ask Grant Heslov about his friend's decision to step back from acting, to direct and otherwise live his life. 'This is how he put it to me when I was trying to do something during the summer recently,' Heslov says by way of an explanation. He says Clooney proposed an exercise. 'Let's sit down … Continue reading How Many Summers Are Left?
Why Do We Talk to One Another?
Open Question: Why do we talk to one another? "...To varying degrees, there is an uncrossable chasm between you and everybody you care about.There are two ways you can interpret this. One is the depressing route: to believe that your friends are not really your friends and that you don’t really know them. That you … Continue reading Why Do We Talk to One Another?
So, You’ve Made a Mistake…
Acknowledge you've made a mistake to yourself.Think about the mistake. Why did it happen?Think about making the same mistake again in the future.Acknowledge the mistake, describe it and the damage it caused precisely, apologize to those impacted, suggest how it might be redressed, and then listen.Agree on a course of action to address the mistake, … Continue reading So, You’ve Made a Mistake…
Greater Internet Fuckwad Theory
Normal person + anonymity + audience = total fuckwad I was reminded of this Penny Arcade strip recently. Thought I'd add to the blog as a more frequent reminder (tripped when people access it here and I look at the statistics for the week).
Two Religions
"There are two religions in the world the religion of being right and the religion of being in love, and you can’t be a member of both at the same time."—Garrett Bucks quoting his pastor in an interview with Anne Helen Petersen, "when you realize you're on the wrong side." Substack. October 22, 2020. Advice … Continue reading Two Religions
Stereotype Content Model: Warmth & Competence
"Fiske...had been developing a theory of dehumanization called the Stereotype Content Model, in which there are two criteria by which we measure people we meet: warmth and competence. “What do you need to know about people who are unfamiliar to you?” she says. “First you need to know their intentions — good or ill. If … Continue reading Stereotype Content Model: Warmth & Competence
Social Media Anonymous
Importing Excellence
"If you want to know what it is that your own country produces that is genuinely excellent, look for what the most obsessively discerning residents of London and Tokyo choose to import. Look for the choices of the otaku, the fanatic of pure information."—William Gibson in the introduction to Paul Smith, "You Can Find Inspiration … Continue reading Importing Excellence
Not So Simple: Notes from a Tech-Free Life by Mark Boyle
"I intended to begin a new life without modern technology. There would be no running water, no fossil fuels, no clock, no electricity or any of the things it powers: no washing machine, internet, phone, radio, or light bulb......What are we prepared to lose, and what do we want to gain, as we fumble our … Continue reading Not So Simple: Notes from a Tech-Free Life by Mark Boyle
Conversations on Political Economy
Capitalist: Capitalism provides for the most efficient allocation of resources, wealth creation and individual choice. It's the best economic system we've got. State Socialist: There are other values than efficiency, prosperity and choice. Capitalism tends toward oligarchy and monopoly. As industries concentrate and gain economies of scale, wealth creation is concentrated for the benefit of … Continue reading Conversations on Political Economy
The Rule of Awkward Silence
"[T]he rule of awkward silence is simple: When faced with a challenging question, instead of answering, you pause and think deeply about how you want to answer. This is no short pause; rather, it involves taking several seconds (10, 20, or longer) to think things through before responding.If you're on the receiving end--and not used to … Continue reading The Rule of Awkward Silence
Oliver Burkeman’s Last Column: The Eight Secrets to a (Fairly) Fulfilled Life
There will always be too much to do – and this realisation is liberating.When stumped by a life choice, choose “enlargement” over happiness.The capacity to tolerate minor discomfort is a superpower. The advice you don’t want to hear is usually the advice you need.The future will never provide the reassurance you seek from it.The solution to imposter … Continue reading Oliver Burkeman’s Last Column: The Eight Secrets to a (Fairly) Fulfilled Life
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