Zuihitsu, 2023-04

May 2, 2023May 2, 2023 ~ cafebedouin

Data over narrative.
Authoritative without being authoritarian.
Don’t be a push-over.
Any fool can know. The point is to understand.—Albert Einstein
Look for the slope not the Y intercept.
Doing leads to becoming.
Panic and overreaction—the late response of fools.
We are what we do/make.
People with full lives tend not to pass judgment on the lives of others.
Choose your feelings as you would a weapon.
Constraints can be invisible.
A life deeply lived connects to truth beyond itself.

Zuihitsu, 2023-03

April 1, 2023 ~ cafebedouin

Technically, zuihitsu are longer reflections than what I tend to collect. But, the general idea is right. Here’s this month’s installment. If you want the complete set, please download the fortune file.

The right way is the hard way.
Reimagine our world and create the conditions for human flourishing, which would necessarily involve self-determination, mutual aid and freedom from governments, markets, or ideologies dictating what an individual’s or group’s life can be.
More awareness, more choices.
Behavior is a combination of someone’s: past experiences, ability to self regulate, and their core beliefs.
You get what you tolerate.
The Gruen effect is when an intentionally confusing layout makes you forget the reason you came to a store to shop.
…sometimes paranoia’s just having all the facts.—William S. Burroughs
Marginal improvement or create something new. These rarely overlap.
The world is full of people whose vision of the future is an idealized past.
If a lion could talk we would not understand him.—Ludwig Wittgenstein, in his Philosophical Investigations
Connecting is better than protecting.
The first draft of history is emotional, inaccurate and conflicted.
No meaning without mythology.
A focus on accumulation destroys the social fabric.
People are a living composite of everyone they have ever loved.
Play is the soil from which healthy adults are grown and sustained.
Get in early and get out sooner.
Competition brings out the best in products, and the worst in people.
For those who believe in God, no explanation is necessary. For those who do not believe, no explanation is possible.—George Seaton
Wherever the wind blows, so too will my thoughts and feelings take me.
Speech is silver but silence is golden.
Use time as a filter.

Zuihitsu, 2023-02

March 1, 2023 ~ cafebedouin

It is easier to make a bad habit impossible than to not do the possible.
Good thinking requires discomfort.
Let your mind wander.
Being heard is so close to being loved that for the average person, they are almost indistinguishable.—David W. Augsburger
Listening is where love begins: listening to ourselves and then to our neighbors.—Fred Rodgers
Never offer unsolicited advice. Even solicited, advice is a dangerous gift.
A man forgets his good luck the next day, but remembers his bad luck until next year.—E.W. Howe
Diplomacy and decisive action go hand in hand.
Unless the threat is immediate, observe and analyze.
Politics poison everything they touch.
Be last to judge and the first to embrace.
All of humanity’s problems stem from man’s inability to sit quietly in a room alone.—Blaise Pascal
Don’t give advice, do acknowledge reality.
On the utility to signal spectrum, the more the cost, the more signaling.
Better tools, better information.
The tall poppy gets cut down.
Rest is resistance.
Focus on making children string over fixing broken men.
We all have three voices: the one we think with, the one we speak with, and the one we write with. When you stutter, two of those are always at war.—John Hendrickson
Thought is formed in the mouth.—Tristan Tzara
Without mercy, there can be no mistakes.
Simple solutions in a complex world aren’t solutions.
Devalue effort and all that remains is morass.
Wonder is the helpmate of learning.
The best way to defeat the opposition is to lead it.
Happy or smart. Choose one.
Always be willing to change your mind —especially if you’re smart.
We decide what to believe by deciding who to believe.
No need to separate the art from the artist, if the art is bad.
Social constructs, such as gender, race, etc. are picked up from our society. None of us escape them, except with conscious, courageous effort.
Peace is the product of clear boundaries.
It’s never going to be perfect. Do your best and let it go.
Conspiracy theories are the insecure person’s defense against a confusing world with too many competing narratives.
Specification is for guidance. Code is source of truth.
You don’t need to convince. Just do or be it.
I would never die for my beliefs, because I might be wrong.—Bertrand Russell
Truth is simple. Complexity is when truth is not understood or is there to obscure it.
The 10/10 Rule: it takes a decade to build a platform and another decade for it to reach mass adoption.
Fixing things you don’t like is where innovation begins.

The Five Love Languages

February 11, 2023February 11, 2023 ~ cafebedouin

According to Gary Chapman, the five love languages are:

words of affirmation (compliments)
quality time
receiving gifts
acts of service
physical touch

This book, “The Five Love Languages,” was published 30 years ago. I think it is a good mental model for thinking about relationships, and it probably helps to think of them as a spectrum. It’s not that we don’t employ one or another, but we prefer to use some more than others, some of which may be context dependent.

Personally, I don’t emphasize words of affirmation. I consider that the job of each person to validate themselves. Other people complimenting us should largely not matter. I think looking for outside validation is one of the larger cultural biases that people create. So, this is probably where I am weakest. I can recognize that there can be value in compliments, but I also see them as problematic. I don’t particularly need them, although it is nice to be appreciated.

I probably emphasize “acts of service” the most. Love isn’t a feeling. Or, it is least not just a feeling. Love is a verb. If it doesn’t entail actually doing something different, often putting someone else’s interests above our own, then is it love?

Physical touch is probably second most important. Quality time and gifts follow in the third and fourth spots, respectively. It’s important to give good gifts in situations where they are appropriate. But, a relationship that has a focus on gifts can also be problematic. It’s a physical manifestation of the same kinds of issues as compliments. If it is severe enough it can lead to dependency and transactional relationships.

I haven’t read the book, but I intend to, at some point. When I do, I’ll add some notes to this entry or link to it from this post.

Zuihitsu, 2023-01

February 4, 2023February 12, 2023 ~ cafebedouin

In your closet and your life, subtract whenever you add.
When the wrench is on the nut, tighten it.
Ask: does it light me up? If no, don’t do it.
Every hatred must serve a purpose.
Never force, beg or chase.
Even a beautiful straightjacket is only going to be worn for special occasions.
What’s the focus? Surviving or flourishing.
Change is inevitable. The question is whether you accept it, direct it, or resist it.
Relationships reveal. What do your say about you?
Not everyone can be beautiful. But, everyone can be less ugly.
Clarity of purpose drives motivation.
Know your worth.
Control your emotions.
Avoidance is the coward’s burnt bridge.
Peace is better than revenge.
You do not know what other people feel.
The difference between a good and a bad person is their choice of causes.
Language that obscures, limits.
Skimming the top does not clean the bottom.
There is no investment without risk.
Be selective who you take advice from, and criticism is a form of advice.
Trust your feelings but use your calculator.
We all broke our rules for someone.
Meaning is often created in hindsight, not in the present.
Often one decision implies many others.
Standards for evidence are inverse to one’s desire to believe.
Actions over words.
Altered traits, not altered states.
Surround yourself with people with ideas they are working on rather than people that talk about other people.
Wrong questions are worse than wrong answers.
Dreams make life interesting.
Nobody is in control. The world is rudderless.—Alan Moore
Choose life-expanding choices over comfort.
Ask yourself how this serves your growth.
Can I accept the consequences of this choice? If I can, that is true freedom.
What would my fully-actualized self do?
When in doubt, opt for the natural path over the forced path.
Creativity requires “wasted” time.
The biggest risk is playing it safe.
The narcissism of small differences leads to the most boring conformity.

Generalizing the 5/10/15 Rule for U.S. Drug Development, Or The Cycle of the New

January 23, 2023January 23, 2023 ~ cafebedouin

“U.S. drug development cycle, which he says “always follows the 5/10/15 rule. For the first 5 years, companies hype new drugs; next 5 years all hidden side effects are exposed, leading to black-box warnings and class action lawsuits; in [the] last 5 years, the companies start dissing their own old drug as the patent runs out to begin the hype cycle for their next new drug.”
-Jane Metclafe, “2023 Predictions-The Good, The Bad, and the Ugly.” neo.life. January 2023

This article on 2023 predictions is worth reading in full. However, I particularly found this piece interesting. Ultimately, this is about how incentives drive behavior. So, we might generalize this rule to something like: “Any novel thing goes through a period that focuses on benefits, another period on the risks, then finally becomes the status quo that will be replaced by some other, new thing.”

Zuihitsu, 2022-12

January 3, 2023December 31, 2022 ~ cafebedouin

The first rule of life: don’t be a dickhead.
Men only have money the first month of dating, that’s recruitment budget. Never confuse it with operational budget.
Travel is a meat thing. Best for those whose meat is still fresh.
Emotional abuse: threats, using relationship history or traditiobal roles to avoid responsibility, pressure, ignoring boundaries, guilting, shaming, and getting other people to manipulate on your behalf.
Don’t believe the hype!—Public Enemy
Good friends, good books and a sleepy conscience: this is the ideal life.—Mark Twain
…there is no such thing as information-overload; there is just filter failure.—Clay Shirky
How might this experience bring out the best in me and help me grow?
Life is self-directed.
The planning fallacy, is the tendency to underestimate the amount of time needed to complete a future task, due in part to the reliance on overly optimistic performance scenarios.
Stop carrying the world on your shoulders. You ain’t got the build for it.
People rarely want advice. Most want to be heard. Learn to listen. Don’t try to fix it, change it, or project your own emotions onto it.
A question for wants: if I already had it, would I be glad?
Everything is possible. But not everything fits budget and timeline.
There’s always a tell, the canary in the coal mine, that announces the change. The hard part is recognizing it.
Adjudicating hacks allows systems to evolve.
…everybody is going to hurt you. You just gotta find the ones worth suffering for.—Bob Marley
Do things for love. Love is not earned. Love is either freely given, or it is not love at all.
Art is never finished, only abandoned.—Leonardo Da Vinci
The more comfortable you become in your own skin, the less you need to manufacture the world around you for comfort.
Get smart in secret and get stupid in public.
Do the easy bit first.
Looking to the past or present is a great way to miss the future.
Authentic love is about freedom, not possession.
Be the reason someone feels seen, heard, understood, appreciated, supported, and loved.
Choose grow over comfort, discipline over procrastination, improving over impressing, and progress over perfection.
Thinking stops at certainty.
Without nuance, ideas become more simple and more wrong.
It is enough for lazy wits to have the appearance of knowing.
Face, accept, float, let time pass.
Engage in a conspiracy of love with the whole world.
Self-directed learning is never boring.
The grown-ups never understand anything by themselves, and, for children, it’s tiresome always giving them explanations.—Antoine de Saint-Exupéry, The Little Prince
Most beliefs put ideology above evidence.
Wisdom is knowing the right thing to do at the right time.
Crickets are the orchestra of the stars.
Struggle leads to transformation.
We are all living off the fat of a dream gone bad.
Launch determines orbit.
You are not your thoughts or opinions.
When I shit job needs to be done, cover all the angles and try not to get shat upon.
To own an idea, you have to spend the cognitive time buying it.
Stay cautious, stay alive.
The overall aim of most thought is tranquillity, not truth.
Bees and flies eat different food. No fly can convince a bee to start eating shit.
The problem with stereotypes is people never live up to them.
Say, or learn to say: I’m sorry. I don’t know. I was wrong. I need help.
Lotteries distract from discontent with irrational hope.
Day wise, decade foolish.
Without agency, every problem is a catastrophe.
Speaking without thought is not the same as speaking the truth.
Philosophy is question fandom.
The path to self-realization is strewn with embracing uncomfortable truths.
Addiction is often an expression of anger.
Respect leaves room for questions and challenges.
Through play, we re-learn how to trust our own eyes and ears and resist those who would command us.
It is enough that it is engaging until we are ready to walk away.

Spielen Macht Frei (Play Sets You Free)

December 24, 2022December 24, 2022 ~ cafebedouin

“The Prussian model seeks to create a population for whom work, no matter how mind-numbing or back-breaking, is the only hope. That’s why they try to inspire us with the promise of a freedom that will never come. When we keep play alive in our own lives, in the lives of our children, even if it is just in the nooks and crannies, we are creating real hope for freedom. If you are reading this, you are probably one of those people keeping play alive. In this world, play is the one thing that can give us genuine hope. It is the only path to freedom. And that is why play is the greatest threat to the status quo.It’s play, not work, that will set us free.”
Teacher Tom, “Play Is The Greatest Threat To The Status Quo.””. teachertomsblog.blogspot.com. December 22, 2022

This morning, I was reading someone talk about how consistency is the key to great work. Before joining family and friends for Christmas Eve or Christmas, one should get a little work done. When I read it, it sounded convincing.

Shortly after, I read this piece from Teacher Tom. Its an interesting contrast. In our culture, value is a function of work. How do we contribute to society? And, our contribution is, for most, determined materially. In crass terms, it’s the hourly rate where we exchange our time for money. That’s our value.

But, it is useful to be reminded that there are other values. As one section describes it:

Yunkaporta points out that the word “work” does not even exist in many Indigenous languages. Indeed, the “work” his people did do prior to colonization was confined to a couple hours a day and was comprised of things many of us now do as a break from work like gardening, cooking, hunting, hiking, camping, tinkering, and fishing. They spent the rest of their time building relationships, making art, dancing, playing games (almost always cooperative), telling stories, and making music. Indeed, they spent their time doing the very things that our youngest children do when left alone to be whatever they want to be — not when they grow up, but right now. Play, not work, sets us free.”
-ibid.

Indigenous people, or even people not part of our post-capitalist society or that live on its margins, viewed value through the lens of being someone who was enjoyable to spend time around. What would our lives be like if this were the organizing principle of society?

On one level, this seems like it would make our focus on extrovertism even more pronounced. It would amp up the performance aspect of society. But, it also makes me think that extrovertism and introvertism might be a kind of filter failure, where our society and the people who were are acquainted with has grown so large that it passes a certain threshold where people stop trying to participate in that society.

If you lived in a society or 100 people or less, where people knew and cared for one another on some fundamental level. Wouldn’t this change our society, where we knew that there was this base layer of caring and knowing that serves as a kind of bedrock on which play rests? Doesn’t it require a certain level of negotiation to move to the kind of intimacy that play requires with complete strangers, particularly in a world where all but the smallest children have been wounded by others?

What would it take to live in a world where play was of primary value? I’ve suggested smaller group sizes. But, what can we do, right where we are, to make this a more important value?

Critical Ignoring as a Core Competence for Digital Citizens

December 13, 2022December 15, 2022 ~ cafebedouin ~ 4 Comments

“Abstract

Low-quality and misleading information online can hijack people’s attention, often by evoking curiosity, outrage, or anger. Resisting certain types of information and actors online requires people to adopt new mental habits that help them avoid being tempted by attention-grabbing and potentially harmful content. We argue that digital information literacy must include the competence of critical ignoring—choosing what to ignore and where to invest one’s limited attentional capacities. We review three types of cognitive strategies for implementing critical ignoring: self-nudging, in which one ignores temptations by removing them from one’s digital environments; lateral reading, in which one vets information by leaving the source and verifying its credibility elsewhere online; and the do-not-feed-the-trolls heuristic, which advises one to not reward malicious actors with attention. We argue that these strategies implementing critical ignoring should be part of school curricula on digital information literacy. Teaching the competence of critical ignoring requires a paradigm shift in educators’ thinking, from a sole focus on the power and promise of paying close attention to an additional emphasis on the power of ignoring. Encouraging students and other online users to embrace critical ignoring can empower them to shield themselves from the excesses, traps, and information disorders of today’s attention economy.”
Anastasia Kozyreva, et al. “Critical Ignoring as a Core Competence for Digital Citizens.”
Current Directions in Psychological Science 0 10.1177/09637214221121570-

After some reflection, this is obviously true. Just as obviously, it lends itself to the Dunning-Kruger effect, where people with low ability to critically ignore, do the exact opposite, where they focus on “attention-grabbing and potentially harmful content” and choose to critically ignore content that would help with changing one’s worldview to something that is more adaptive.

Once you start thinking about it, and looking for these kinds of behaviors, it becomes a new lens to which to look at a lot of the features of our society. The preoccupation with sports, for instance, is focusing on attention grabbing content with little value. It’s true of conspiracy theories, fundamentalism and the beliefs of fanatics everywhere. Moreover, if we look to our own behavior, there are many areas where we do this ourselves. Is a preoccupation with storytelling in “cinema” really different than a preoccupation with sport? What, then, is of real value?

The inescapable conclusion is that vast majority of our activity and attention is spent on things we should be critically ignoring. The hard question: what should we be paying attention to?

Creating Safe Spaces for Emotions

December 12, 2022 ~ cafebedouin

“This is my job. I’m not here to make things better, to end the crying, or to distract them from missing their mommies. I’m not even there to soothe them any more than I’m there to ‘good job’ them: that is not my job. Becoming soothed is their job. Cheering for their own accomplishments is their job. My job is to be with them when they’re crying and when they’re cheering, speaking truth, and creating space for them to feel exactly how they feel for as long as they need to feel it. It ‘works’ every time.”
—Teacher Tom, “The Thing That ‘Works’ Every Time.” teachertomsblog.blogspot.com. December 12, 2022.

This is probably the biggest mistake we make with one another. When confronted with strong emotion, many of us, especially men, try to ‘fix’ the problem rather than being present, making room for the feeling to be felt.

Feelings cannot be fixed. They can only be felt.

P.S. Also reminded of this little chestnut.