Category: quotes

Chaotic Principles or Robert’s Rules of Disorder

~ cafebedouin
  • Chaotic Principle No. I: Divest yourself of expectations.
  • Chaotic Principle No. II: You will never be totally in control.
  • Chaotic Principle No. III: Be a fool, not a sadist. You should be able to take it as well as dish it out.
  • Chaotic Principle No. IV: Allow people the validity of their own emotions (humor is a very serious thing).
  • Chaotic Principle No. V: Solidarity is a necessity.
    • You’ll lose people over time. More committed people, more energy.
    • Nothing is ever over when you think it is.
  • Chaotic Principle No. VI: Play it out to the end.
    • Agree beforehand on the desired outcome.
  • Chaotic Principle No. VII: The more extreme the act, the more extreme and varied the response will be.
  • Chaotic Principle No. VIII: Humor is as relative as anything else.
  • Chaotic Principle No. IX: Fear is a state of mind. The fear / risk ratio is not proportional.
  • Chaotic Principle No. X: We have many things to risk besides our lives.
  • Chaotic Principle No. XI: We subconsciously believe we have experience things when we have only watched them. We have not.
  • Chaotic Principle No. XII: When we test the fantasies of ourselves, we fall short. So we do not.

See 1977 Evolution into Chaos: A Chronology by Gary Warne

Observations on the Long Take

~ cafebedouin

“It is thus absolutely necessary to die, because while living we lack meaning, and the language of our lives (with which we express ourselves and to which we attribute the greatest importance) is untranslatable: a chaos of possibilities, a search for relations among discontinuous meanings. Death performs a lightning-quick montage on our lives; that is, it chooses our truly significant moments (no longer changeable by other possible contrary or incoherent moments) and places them in sequence, converting our present, which is infinite, unstable, and uncertain, and thus linguistically indescribable, into a clear, stable, certain, and thus linguistically describable past (precisely in the sphere of a general semiology). It is thanks to death that our lives become expressive.”

-Pier Paolo Pasolini, “Observations on the Long Take.” October. Vol. 13 (Summer, 1980), p. 6.

Garbage Day

~ cafebedouin

“I 👁 actually 😳 decided 👯 to 💦 go 🏃 to 💦 Thanksgiving 🍁 dinner 🍟 this 👈 year 🎉 in 👏 my 👨 fursuit. When 🍑 I 👁 walked 🚶 in 👏 the 👏 door 🚪 my 👨 step 👞 daddy 👨 gave 🎁 me 😭 a 👌 weird look 👀 but 🍑 I 👁 ignored 😒 him. 👴 Then 😮 my 👨 stupid 💩 step-cousin started 💢 laughing 😅 that 😐 I 👁 was 👏 wearing 👙 a 👌 diaper 💩 over 👏 my 👨 suit and 👏 I 👁 screamed 😫 at 🍆 him 👴 that 😐 he 👨 was 👏 being 😑 furryphobic as 🍑 fuck 🍆 towards me 😭 , and 👏 that 😐 I 👁 identify 🔬 as 🍑 a 👌 crinkler both 🌜 in 👏 body 💃 and 👏 in 👏 pronoun. So 💯 anyway 🔛 when 🍑 they 👥 started 💢 serving the 👏 Turkey 🍗 every 👏 person 🚫 who 😂 took 👫 the 👏 meat 🍆 I 👁 whispered 😮 “You’re 👉 dead” under 😡 my 👨 breath 😷 as 🍑 they 👥 didn’t 🚫 recognize 🌚 the 👏 sacrific of 💦 the 👏 6 🕕 million 😂 Algonkin Indians 💩 who 😂 died 💀 so 💯 they 👥 can 💦 eat 👉 that 😐 meat. 🍆 When 🍑 they 👥 were 👶 about 💦 to 💦 eat 👉 I 👁 started 💢 making 👧 my 👨 best 👌 Rick Sanchez impersonations but 🍑 they 👥 didn’t 🚫 get 🔟 it 💯 due to 💦 them 💦 being 😑 ignorant 😂 as 🍑 fuck. 🍆 Finally 🙏 when 🍑 they 👥 started 💢 talking 🗣 about 💦 how 💯 my 👨 step-cousin got 🍸 his 💦 first 👆 job 😕 I 👁 laughed 😂 that 😐 he 👨 was 👏 some 👨 wage-cuck and 👏 that 😐 when 🍑 the 👏 communist 😈 revolution 💥 comes 💦 he 👨 will 👏 be 🐝 sorry. 💔 Suddenly my 👨 step 👞 daddies 👨 dad 👴 bursts into 👉 anger 😡 and 👏 he 👨 started 💢 calling 📲 me 😭 a 👌 freak 😈 and 👏 I 👁 just 👏 picked up 🔺 the 👏 mash potatoes and 👏 threw it 💯 in 👏 his 💦 face 😀 and 👏 scream 😱 “Bash the 👏 Fash”. I 👁 was 👏 then 😮 put 😏 in 👏 a 👌 headlock but 🍑 my 👨 fursuit protected me 😭 because 💁 the 👏 mouth 💋 piece 🍗 is 💦 operated with 👏 my 👨 hand. 👋 So 💯 I 👁 was 👏 able 💪 to 💦 flee like 💖 in 👏 my 👨 favorite 📑 episode of 💦 Ricky and 👏 Morty. 👏 I 👁 hid in 👏 the 👏 bushes and 👏 when 🍑 he 👨 was 👏 being 😑 wheeled away 😐 by 😈 the 👏 paramedics I 👁 cheered as 🍑 he 👨 was 👏 a 👌 WW2 vet so 💯 that’s 😦 like 💖 a 👌 50% 👌 chance 🚫 he 👨 was 👏 a 👌 nazi. 🙅

—yayayamie quoted in Ryan Broderick, “tfw your parents find your Thanksgiving homemade fleshlight.” Garbage Day. November 29, 2019.

Garbage Day is a once a week dose of artisanal Internet garbage for people who aren’t looking for click trauma. Still not something for work, people raging at the world for going downhill, or the innocent.

Barbara Jordan on Impeachment

~ cafebedouin

The Carolina ratification convention impeachment criteria: those are impeachable ‘who behave amiss or betray their public trust.’

Beginning shortly after the Watergate break-in and continuing to the present time, the President has engaged in a series of public statements and actions designed to thwart the lawful investigation by government prosecutors. Moreover, the President has made public announcements and assertions bearing on the Watergate case, which the evidence will show he knew to be false. These assertions, false assertions, impeachable, those who misbehave. Those who ‘behave amiss or betray the public trust.’

James Madison again at the Constitutional Convention: ‘A President is impeachable if he attempts to subvert the Constitution.'”

-Barbara Jordan, “Statement at the U.S. House Judiciary Committee Impeachment Hearings.”
Washington, D.C. – July 25, 1974

Agree to Disagree or Fight

~ cafebedouin ~ 8 Comments

“‘I don’t believe in argument,” he said…

…’You don’t?’ Erens said, genuinely surprised. ‘Shit, and I thought I was the cynical one.”

‘It’s not cynicism,’ he said flatly. ‘I just think people overvalue argument because they like to hear themselves talk.’

‘Oh well, thank you.’

‘It’s comforting, I suppose.’ … ‘Most people are not prepared to have their minds changed,’ he said. ‘And I think they know that in their hearts that other people are the same, and one of the reasons that people become angry when they argue is that they realize just that, as they trot out their excuses.’

‘Excuses, eh? Well, if this ain’t cynicism, what is?’ Erens snorted.

‘Yes, excuses,’ he said, with what Erens thought might just have been a trace of bitterness. ‘I strongly suspect the things people believe in are usually just what they instinctively feel is right; the excuses, the justifications, the things you’re supposed to argue about, come later. They’re the least important part of belief. That’s why you can destroy them, win an argument, prove the other person wrong, and still they believe what they did in the first place.’ He looked at Erens. ‘You’ve attacked the wrong thing.’

‘So what do you suggest one does, Professor, if one is not to indulge in this futile … arguing stuff?’

‘Agree to disagree,’ he said. ‘Or fight.’

‘Fight?‘

He shrugged. ‘What else is left?’

‘Negotiate?’

‘Negotiation is a way to come to a conclusion; it’s the type of conclusion I’m talking about.’

‘Which basically is to disagree or fight?’

‘If it comes to it.’

-Iain M. Banks, Use of Weapons. London: Orbit, 2008.