What this is:
This is a simple tool to help you figure out whether a relationship feels healthy, respectful, and good for you. It could be about a friend, family member, coworker, or even someone you just met.
Why it matters:
Sometimes we get used to relationships that leave us feeling small, tired, or confused. This checklist helps you pay attention to how things really feel—not just what you wish they were.
âś… Seven Simple Questions
Ask yourself these. You don’t have to get all “yes” answers—but if a lot of them are “no,” it might be worth thinking about.
1. Do you both pay attention to each other?
Good sign: You both listen, ask questions, and care about what’s going on.
Warning sign: You’re always the one reaching out, and they barely respond.
2. Can you say “no” without getting in trouble?
Good sign: You can set a boundary or ask for space without drama.
Warning sign: You feel scared or guilty saying “no,” or they get mad if you do.
3. Can you talk about real stuff without it blowing up?
Good sign: You can share hard feelings and work through them.
Warning sign: Every hard conversation turns into a fight or silence.
4. Do they respect your point of view, even when it’s different?
Good sign: You don’t have to agree on everything, and that’s okay.
Warning sign: They always have to be right, and your opinions get brushed off.
5. When things go wrong, do they try to make it right?
Good sign: They admit mistakes and care about how you feel.
Warning sign: They pretend nothing happened, or blame you instead.
6. Are they mostly honest and kind with you?
Good sign: You can trust what they say, and they treat you with care.
Warning sign: There’s lying, guilt-tripping, or saying one thing and doing another.
7. Does this relationship help you grow or feel more like yourself?
Good sign: You feel supported, seen, and stronger over time.
Warning sign: You feel smaller, stuck, or like you’re always pretending.
🌱 Extra Things to Think About
- Do you feel better or worse after spending time with them?
- Can you be yourself, or do you feel like you’re acting?
- What would happen if you were totally honest with them?
- Is it safe to be quiet together, or do you feel pressure to perform?
🧠How to Use This
- Use it like a mirror. Not to judge—but to see clearly.
- Use it when something feels off. It’s a way to check in with yourself.
- Use it to start a conversation. You can even share it with someone you care about.
Final thought:
No relationship is perfect. But you deserve ones where your voice matters, your space is respected, and you feel like you—not just someone trying to keep the peace.
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