Gendered Details

I was struck by two things this morning. We are staying in a hotel room, and every morning, I have to unlatch, then unbolt the door to get out. I don’t think I’ve ever latched and bolted a hotel door overnight. It simply doesn’t occur to me.

Shortly after, I was downstairs getting coffee when the lady at the front desk told her colleague that it was now OK to keep the door to the back room open because “she was there.”

I cannot imagine ever saying this to another person. And, it occurs to me that not having to worry about these things reduces a lot of cognitive overhead, thinking about mitigating risks that simply aren’t there, or are greatly reduced, for me.

All of which is obvious in 2020 after all the conversations about privilege. But, even so, noticing these details keeps surprising me.