Garbage Day

“I 👁 actually 😳 decided 👯 to 💦 go 🏃 to 💦 Thanksgiving 🍁 dinner 🍟 this 👈 year 🎉 in 👏 my 👨 fursuit. When 🍑 I 👁 walked 🚶 in 👏 the 👏 door 🚪 my 👨 step 👞 daddy 👨 gave 🎁 me 😭 a 👌 weird look 👀 but 🍑 I 👁 ignored 😒 him. 👴 Then 😮 my 👨 stupid 💩 step-cousin started 💢 laughing 😅 that 😐 I 👁 was 👏 wearing 👙 a 👌 diaper 💩 over 👏 my 👨 suit and 👏 I 👁 screamed 😫 at 🍆 him 👴 that 😐 he 👨 was 👏 being 😑 furryphobic as 🍑 fuck 🍆 towards me 😭 , and 👏 that 😐 I 👁 identify 🔬 as 🍑 a 👌 crinkler both 🌜 in 👏 body 💃 and 👏 in 👏 pronoun. So 💯 anyway 🔛 when 🍑 they 👥 started 💢 serving the 👏 Turkey 🍗 every 👏 person 🚫 who 😂 took 👫 the 👏 meat 🍆 I 👁 whispered 😮 “You’re 👉 dead” under 😡 my 👨 breath 😷 as 🍑 they 👥 didn’t 🚫 recognize 🌚 the 👏 sacrific of 💦 the 👏 6 🕕 million 😂 Algonkin Indians 💩 who 😂 died 💀 so 💯 they 👥 can 💦 eat 👉 that 😐 meat. 🍆 When 🍑 they 👥 were 👶 about 💦 to 💦 eat 👉 I 👁 started 💢 making 👧 my 👨 best 👌 Rick Sanchez impersonations but 🍑 they 👥 didn’t 🚫 get 🔟 it 💯 due to 💦 them 💦 being 😑 ignorant 😂 as 🍑 fuck. 🍆 Finally 🙏 when 🍑 they 👥 started 💢 talking 🗣 about 💦 how 💯 my 👨 step-cousin got 🍸 his 💦 first 👆 job 😕 I 👁 laughed 😂 that 😐 he 👨 was 👏 some 👨 wage-cuck and 👏 that 😐 when 🍑 the 👏 communist 😈 revolution 💥 comes 💦 he 👨 will 👏 be 🐝 sorry. 💔 Suddenly my 👨 step 👞 daddies 👨 dad 👴 bursts into 👉 anger 😡 and 👏 he 👨 started 💢 calling 📲 me 😭 a 👌 freak 😈 and 👏 I 👁 just 👏 picked up 🔺 the 👏 mash potatoes and 👏 threw it 💯 in 👏 his 💦 face 😀 and 👏 scream 😱 “Bash the 👏 Fash”. I 👁 was 👏 then 😮 put 😏 in 👏 a 👌 headlock but 🍑 my 👨 fursuit protected me 😭 because 💁 the 👏 mouth 💋 piece 🍗 is 💦 operated with 👏 my 👨 hand. 👋 So 💯 I 👁 was 👏 able 💪 to 💦 flee like 💖 in 👏 my 👨 favorite 📑 episode of 💦 Ricky and 👏 Morty. 👏 I 👁 hid in 👏 the 👏 bushes and 👏 when 🍑 he 👨 was 👏 being 😑 wheeled away 😐 by 😈 the 👏 paramedics I 👁 cheered as 🍑 he 👨 was 👏 a 👌 WW2 vet so 💯 that’s 😦 like 💖 a 👌 50% 👌 chance 🚫 he 👨 was 👏 a 👌 nazi. 🙅

yayayamie quoted in Ryan Broderick, “tfw your parents find your Thanksgiving homemade fleshlight.” Garbage Day. November 29, 2019.

Garbage Day is a once a week dose of artisanal Internet garbage for people who aren’t looking for click trauma. Still not something for work, people raging at the world for going downhill, or the innocent.