“‘So now he’s like crouching in the water with his shins and knees and forearms and elbows submerged, and his torso and butt and head all above the water still. So he has to roll over somehow and get his body into the water. But I’m stumped on the topology of how ‘balls hit the water LAST.”…He continued, ‘I just feel like the balls are basically in the middle of the X, Y, and Z axes of the body and there’s no way to make them go anywhere last. Head, torso, balls, legs. No matter how you dunk a body in water the balls can’t be the last in.'”
—Kelly Conway. “Are Baths Too Hot For Testicles?” The Cut. August 21, 2018.
A deep dive into an important question you’ve probably never thought to ask. The illustrations by the author may be the best thing about this article.