I once said, in a public argument about a book that advocated for divorce, that if I found my wife reading it we would have a conversation about it. My wife is a surgeon and the family breadwinner; the idea that I could control her is faintly comic to anyone who knows us. None of … Continue reading The Same Paper: On Love, Control & the Limits of the Outside View
Tag: coercive control
How Narcissism Transforms Extraction Into Moral Obligation
Most analyses of narcissism focus on personality: the grandiose self-image, the need for admiration, the lack of empathy. This misses something structural. Narcissistic systems—whether in relationships, organizations, or institutions—don't just extract resources from those with less power. They transform that extraction into a moral imperative, making the giving feel like duty rather than theft. The … Continue reading How Narcissism Transforms Extraction Into Moral Obligation
