Boxing Time & Losing

Over the course of writing this blog, I’ve come to view writing as an important activity, like meditation. And like meditation, I find my motivation comes in fits and spurts. One thing I found helpful with this site is the “don’t break the chain” method. Simply create the expectation and the space that you will sit down and do something for some period of time. It’s alright if you don’t do it. But, if that thing is say, running, and you know that it’s the time and you have your running shoes on. Chances are, you’ll do it.

The problem is when you have people in your life that want to live schedules that are different than yours, or have no schedule at all. So, in a moment of spontaneity, they’ll say something like: “I’m going to run some errands. Do you want to come with me?” Or, you have children, who when they are around behave in this way. I suspect that is why parents are so eager to put them on a schedule. If you don’t box the time, you’ll have none left for yourself or the things you want to do.

Perhaps the place where this is most insidious is social media. Like having children around, it is always there, an inexhaustible hole in which to dump your attention. With children, we do this because giving them our attention is an act of love. However, even love needs limits. But, what are we doing with social media? What benefits does it offer?

It can be entertaining. It is certainly distracting, so you do not have to focus your attention on the problems at hand. But, I cannot help feel that it is not time well spent. Whereas, time writing comments like this one, feels more like it is helping me gain a better understanding of how the world works and how I want to be within it.

Social media is like dipping into the Overmind of humanity. There’s interesting material there, but it needs to be balanced again incorporating it into our lives in a way that is beneficial. I’m currently failing to do that, as the infrequent posts to this blog serve as evidence. But, I’m working on it.

cafebedouin.org: 2022 Year in Review

Top 10 Most Viewed in 2022

Posts That Deserve More Visibility

Reviewing the year, I am happy again with the content. However, I had only 291 posts. I was consistent, posting every day, until June. Then, the wheels feel off. Some months, like September, I hardly posted at all.

Some of this is a function of switching phones in July. I no longer had my newsfeeds set-up correctly, and in the beginning of the year, I had started writing for cryptocurrency projects, which left less time for my blog.

In the coming year, I’ll work to be a bit more consistent. Hopefully, I’ll get back to a daily writing, article referencing practice. Now that I’ve been doing it for six years, there are definitely consistent themes that I think about year in and year out. It’s also obvious, looking at the above, that what other people are more interested in are the technical topics. I mostly write those so, if I have to do it again, I document the process and have an easier time of it next time. It’s nice to know it helps others as well.

Wish you all the best, in the coming year!

Pseudonymity & cafebedouin

“These tensions are igniting an increasingly common desire to explore pseudonymity, shedding irl identity to move across the internet more freely. Importantly, pseudonymity is distinct from anonymity. Platforms like 4chan, where you cannot create a username, are anonymous. Platforms like Reddit, where you post under a consistent moniker, are pseudonymous. A pseudonym can garner history and reputation, but is distinct and separate from the “real” person behind it…

…The promise of pseudonymity is alluring; it’s a chance to shed an irl identity that may be outdated or overcautious for an opportunity to explore unencumbered. Despite the ability for famous pseudonymous profiles to garner popularity and reputation, they are separate from the person behind the account, a form of self-expression that is accelerating as more people experiment with alts and navigate the web unknown…

…Pseudonymity is not an “either or” choice—teenagers have “finstas” alongside their real accounts, while Twitter alts can send personal tweets from a different handle. It’s not a question of whether online pseudonymity will become widespread. My former colleague and the other explorations of obscured identity we’re seeing across the internet show that, in some ways, it already is. Real names might come to be just one in a collection of assumed identities. In some ways, the internet is giving us the tools to formalize what we all already knew: we contain multitudes. Pseudonymity provides an opportunity to express ourselves differently, exploring online spaces and ideas without the weight of maintaining a singular consistent way of being. Pseudonymity may also provide the chance to reshape our lives, separating personal and professional and finding different meanings in these newly separate parts of our lives. It’s possible that by becoming unknown, we become more ourselves.”

-Fadeke Adegbuyi, “Our Pseudonymous Selves
The Past, Present, and Future of Online Identity
.” Cybernaut. December 8, 2021

I think the author misses the point of pseudonymity. When you are young and don’t know who you are, you might want to use pseudonymns online to explore your identity. But, I think most people start using them because they’ve been harassed online or because they have learned from watching online lynch mobs try to destroy people that don’t agree with their point of view.

In my case, it started with a little piece of online trolling, where a group had described themselves in one way, and I wanted to point out some uncomfortable truths that made it look a little different. It still makes me laugh, and there’s something interesting in the fact that the original post I was responding to did not last, scrubbed from the Internet, presumably for lack of relevance.

But, in the years since, I’ve discovered that pseudonymity allows me to make comments on topics like family estrangement, transexuality, arguing for the right of castration, and so forth that are kind of strange and not arguments I would make to most people. Pseudonymity provides a layer of protection, not only for yourself but for others. When you talk about your own life experience, you are talking about the people in your life too.

For me, what’s important is the ideas, not the gossip. You don’t need to know who I am or who I am talking about because most of the time, I’m making a larger point that has nothing to do with either. Identity, in many circumstances, not only limits what you are willing to say, but the details of who you are get in the way of what you are saying.

For example, if I were castrated in some kind of freak accident, then the argument for castration would read very differently. If I were a rogue doctor performing castration surgeries, this would make it different still. I’m none of those things, but the point is that they are irrelevant to the argument. Trying to figure out who I am and why I might be making it means you are trying to engage with something other than the argument being made.

Figuring out who someone is often isn’t that hard. The question pseudonymity raises is whether identity matters as much as we commonly think it does. It’s clear on reflection that who we are often gets in the way of whether we can be heard. Maybe if we get away from who we are, people will be more interested in hearing what we have to say. Or at least, judge it by the merit of its content.

Programming Note: WordPress Scheduling

The secret to publishing something good every day is to get ahead, find more interesting stuff and stack it ahead of schedule. This way you don’t feel like you have to post every day, because you don’t. On the other hand, WordPress has a bit of a janky scheduling function that likes to default back to today half the time you use it. So, occasionally, I’ll try to get ahead a bit, or take a week off, or whatever, and you’ll see something briefly on the main page and then see it again several days later. That’s what’s going on my friends. Now, with the next week or so queued up, I’m taking off.

The next few days, and previous few now that I think on it, are heavily indebted to a backlog of WebCurios emails, which is excellent although maybe with the front image you should check it out when you aren’t at work.

cafebedouin.org: 2019 Year in Review and Looking Ahead to 2020

In 2019, I posted 931 entries, all post views were up to +14,000 views by +9,000 visitors to cafebedouin.org, roughly three times the level of last year. Most of the views are concentrated either on the main page or the most popular posts:

My favorite posts of the year:

In 2019, I went for a twice a day posting schedule that expanded to three times a day mid-year as I incorporated a review of my photo archive. Frankly, this is a brutal posting schedule. I could probably do twice a day comfortably, but I think I’m going to focus a bit more on quality and only commit to doing a single post a day and maybe do something original once a week in the coming year.

I still would like to move to a format where half the posts are in a Foucault hupomnemata-style, i.e., “to capture the already-said, to collect what one has managed to hear or read, and for a purpose that is nothing less than the shaping of the self.” And I think some of the sources I have mentioned last year are still worth exploring:

  • I have been collecting rules and maxims for life over the last 1.5 years or so, and there are now over 400 of them. I could do a year just using these as writing prompts.
  • I still haven’t included very much material from the commonplace book I kept for years before starting cafebedouin.org. Adding in material from it with some reflection now that it has been several years might be interesting.
  • Open-ended stream-of-consciousness writing. However, it probably won’t be much fun to read. I beg your pardon.

Offline, I did Postcard Friday, on more of a monthly basis this year. And I think this was both good and something to do more of, perhaps with tie-in to the blog. Still thinking through how this might work, so maybe something for next year?

In short, expect some changes and fewer posts in the coming year.

cafebedouin.org: 2018 Year in Review and Looking Ahead to 2019

“In 2018, I would also like to get back to more original content. I’m thinking it would be good to post something original once a week, but spread it across different forms: poetry, essays, drawing, photography and so forth. Maybe also do more brief commentary of 250 words or less, sketches of story ideas or fragments, aphorisms, book reviews and the like. The goal still being to post something everyday, something that seems weird or interesting, just with some more originals.”

cafebedouin.org: 2017 Year in Review and Looking Ahead to 2018

I posted something every day in 2018. The top five posts were:

  1. Don’t Shoot the Dog by Karen Pryor: Summary
  2. OpenBSD: Configuring mutt & gpg/gpg2
  3. Freedom & Limits: The ASUS C201 with libreboot and Parabola Linux
  4. Hamonshu: A Japanese Book of Wave and Ripple Designs (1903) – The Public Domain Review
  5. OpenBSD & The Command Line

As of a few hours ago, cafebedouin.org had 3,314 views, 2,097 visitors, 522 likes and 36 comments in 2018. It seems like a lot for a little idiosyncratic personal blog that I never imagined anyone reading.

My favorite posts of the year were:

I think I did more original content in 2018 over 2017. Still, I’d like to do more.

So, I’m going to go with a twice a day posting schedule for 2019. In the mornings, it’ll continue as before with links to articles and websites with quotes and maybe some commentary. I often schedule these posts a week or more in advance. I’ll also keep Sunday reserved for music (or visual media) I’ve been listening to recently or find interesting for one reason or another.

In the evenings, the posts will be a Foucault-style hupomnemata, i.e., “to capture the already-said, to collect what one has managed to hear or read, and for a purpose that is nothing less than the shaping of the self.”

I once read of the process of the French essayist, Alain, who set out two pieces of paper, kept a quote or topic in mind, and then wrote until the pages were filled. He did not edit, and the results—such as his book, Alain on Happiness—explore ideas with immediacy and occasional brilliance. Of course, this approach can also be repetitive, but the repetition can help bring out different facets of an idea.

I’m no Alain. But, then again, Alain wasn’t Alain at first either. Maybe Foucault is right that the writing process itself can be transformative.

So, mornings are for exploration of the new. Evenings are for synthesis, bringing the unknown into the known. This is the initial idea, at any rate.

Possible fodder for evening posts:

  • I have been collecting rules and maxims for life over the last six months or so, and I was thinking of doing a once a week series with that focus.
  • I still haven’t included any material from the commonplace book I kept for years before starting cafebedouin.org. Adding in material from it with some reflection now that it has been several years might be interesting.
  • It might also be worth doing open-ended stream-of-consciousness writing. However, it probably won’t be much fun to read. I beg your pardon.

The main goal is to keep evening posts short, immediate, and to keep the editing filter in check and see what materializes.

Also, I’m also thinking of trying to do some watercolor in the coming year. It might work as part of the Postcard Friday I mentioned in my year in review as a possibility for 2019. Adding a photo of my attempts might also make it as an evening post.

In short, expect some changes and more posts in the coming year.

cafebedouin.org: 2017 Year in Review and Looking Ahead to 2018

I started blogging on January 1, 2017. I was inspired by Don Joyce of Negativland and Over the Edge to “start your own show”, to have a creative outlet where it becomes possible to explore ideas and different creative directions. I was also coming across other posts like “Everyone Should Blog” that helped reenforce the thought.

Originally, my idea was to try to write one quality essay a week. But, I ended up wanting to explore ideas in lengths and with references that was difficult to do week in and week out. Also, my writing felt stilted, academic and lifeless. I need more practice.

By the third week of February, I had decided to close my Facebook account and to limit, to the degree possible, my reliance on the companies of the feudal internet, i.e., Facebook, Google, Amazon, Apple and Microsoft. After deleting Facebook, the next step meant taking a hard look at my use of Google, which included looking to migrate my new blog off blogger.com.

It was easy to migrate to WordPress.com. It just took awhile because I was looking for a new email provider, installing Linux and later OpenBSD on my PCs, evaluating new services like NextCloud to replace Google, etc. It took a lot of time and energy, but I am very happy now I made this transition to a slightly more free, but also slightly more costly, relationship with technology.

I started blogging again in June, and I decided to try one post a day, partly so I would be forced to keep it shorter. As of this post, I’ve made 262 posts.

I like the commonplace book style of the blog, and I think there are some good bits that get sprinkled in. I used to write quotes of this sort in a physical book, and it may be worthwhile to post the best of them here in the coming year.

In 2018, I would also like to get back to more original content. I’m thinking it would be good to post something original once a week, but spread it across different forms: poetry, essays, drawing, photography and so forth. Maybe also do more brief commentary of 250 words or less, sketches of story ideas or fragments, aphorisms, book reviews and the like. The goal still being to post something everyday, something that seems weird or interesting, just with some more originals. Let’s see how it goes.

Get Your Own Show!

“‘Over The Edge’ would never have achieved its present level of adeptness if it had not had years to develop. This aspect has allowed not only the perfection of techniques, but also evolving practices such as subtle but fruitful themes which would never occur as anyone’s first choice, returning casts of characters, regular ‘features’, a whole fictional network called The Universal Media Netweb, and countless interrelated ‘plots’ and fantasys which have developed over time. And just when all that becomes too familiar, we can pull a complete hoax and pretend to replace O.T.E. with some other show entirely. All this depends on the ability to play with regularity. (A key to understanding the effects of all transmission media.) Being somewhat interactive in unfamiliar ways, O.T.E. in particular, requires a regularly scheduled slot which listeners can become acquainted with and, over time, explore their own ways to develop a creative relationship with it. Such potentials are not always fulfilled, but they are important potentials to hold out, and there is always next week… I repeat: GET YOUR OWN SHOW.”
          
-Don Joyce, “GET YOUR OWN SHOW!

I first heard about Don Joyce’s radio show, “Over The Edge” in late 2015. I wanted to learn about Negativland and their aesthetic, which led down the path to their website, mention of the “Over The Edge” radio program and its classic shows, many of which are available on the Internet Archive. It was hard listening at first, particularly since it was around Thanksgiving and I had decided that the Islamic Thanksgiving was a good place to start. Over time, the idea of pre-recorded sounds on a theme and random noise, audience/performer interaction in the form of “Receptical Programming”, provocative content challenging the worldview of our culture, and the uniqueness of the experience started speaking to me. I wanted more of this in my life (beyond the podcast). I wanted to “get my own show!”

What kind of show? My initial thought is to publish a weekly piece of writing and an image on the theme to this blog on Tuesday at 0200 UTC. As a technique, I’m thinking of starting with cut-ups, mash-ups, quotes and commentary either on some theme and seeing what develops from there. I am committing to doing this throughout 2017. In the coming year(s), I will review what I have written over the course of the year during the month of December and either recommit to doing the show for the coming year or abandon the project altogether.

I anticipate many of these writings to be in response to our media landscape and to our celebrity culture – where everything is so intertwined that it is difficult to tell the false from the true, where there is so much information to process and little time to process it before the next thing comes along, that the only way to respond is to focus in on some small fraction that reveals facets of the whole. In a world full of flimflam, maybe the only rational response is confusion and nonsense.