I once said, in a public argument about a book that advocated for divorce, that if I found my wife reading it we would have a conversation about it. My wife is a surgeon and the family breadwinner; the idea that I could control her is faintly comic to anyone who knows us. None of … Continue reading The Same Paper: On Love, Control & the Limits of the Outside View
Tag: autonomy
The Illusion of Knowing: How Familiarity Masks the Opacity of Others
We mistake prediction for understanding. In long-term relationships—romantic partnerships, friendships, family bonds—we develop the capacity to anticipate behavior with remarkable accuracy. We know what our partner will order at a restaurant, how our friend will react to bad news, which topics will trigger our sibling's defensiveness. This predictive skill creates a powerful illusion: that we … Continue reading The Illusion of Knowing: How Familiarity Masks the Opacity of Others
